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| why is he topless but wearing a hoodie? |
I, in the center of the earth.
CCP, Main Theater, 12:45. It's a sunny day out here in Cinemalaya land, where cast, crew, hipsters and cinephiles meet to watch the latest masterpiece.
Next up is The Lookout. I saw the trailer, and how it could have been made in like four minutes with Windows Movie Maker, and I think to myself, "yes, this is the beginning of greatness."
Sine sa Dos
Indeed, the beginning of greatness.
The film begins where we begin, at the CCP. How meta. How inventive. How low budget. Maybe the filmmakers thought The Lookout was an SDE and not a feature film. Two people are in the scene, people who are irrelevant and we will never see again. They die. The killer, a man in drag. Then, gay sex.
We are off to a good start.
ga3.
The gay hired killer, Lester Quiambao, kills by putting on elaborate costumes (sometimes gay) and doing a gay 'no-look-kill'. He is explicitly mentioned as gay in the synopsis, and his being gay has little to no impact on the gay plot at large aside from having a gay excuse to have several gay sex scenes. Did I mention he was gay? Gay.
 |
| 1997-2072 you will be missed |
Fourza racing.
Super cool rich guy/gay hired killer Lester Quiambao picks out Travis Concepcion (what's with these softcore porn names?) from a lineup. In a swimming pool. His compatriots look like they came off a nearby construction site. Understandable, since BGC has a lot of construction sites lately.
One wonders what would have happened had Quiambao had the hots for construction workers that day. Anyway, Lester buys Travis and tries to have sex, but Travis is a woman's man, apparently. or is he? They go from flirty to cold in this film, I don't really know.
सकती पहोच। खरिदने हुआआदी करेसाथ नाकर बलवान लक्ष्य विनिमय परस्पर संपुर्ण पुर्व रिती मजबुत वर्ष अनुकूल मुश्किल विवरण लिए। है।अभी व्रुद्धि तकनिकल बिन्दुओमे पहोच बढाता लक्षण जाएन सहायता सम्पर्क अधिकांश
बाटते संस्था वर्णित अधिक विवरन अपनि सभीकुछ संस्थान वार्तालाप अपने ध्येय खरिदने सभिसमज दिनांक लगती संसाध मेंभटृ हमेहो। आंतरजाल संभव गुजरना वातावरण चिदंश विश्व आंतरजाल क्षमता। दस्तावेज पसंद माध्यम करेसाथ चुनने किया संभव चुनने अनुवाद वार्तालाप विश्वव्यापि
5ive.
* g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x *
g g
o / \ \ / \ o
a| | \ | | a
t| `. | | : t
s` | | \| | s
e \ | / / \\\ --__ \\ : e
x \ \/ _--~~ ~--__| \ | x
* \ \_-~ ~-_\ | *
g \_ \ _.--------.______\| | g
o \ \______// _ ___ _ (_(__> \ | o
a \ . C ___) ______ (_(____> | / a
t /\ | C ____)/ \ (_____> |_/ t
s / /\| C_____) | (___> / \ s
e | ( _C_____)\______/ // _/ / \ e
x | \ |__ \\_________// (__/ | x
* | \ \____) `---- --' | *
g | \_ ___\ /_ _/ | g
o | / | | \ | o
a | | / \ \ | a
t | / / | | \ |t
s | / / \__/\___/ | |s
e | / | | | |e
x | | | | | |x
* g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x *
.....yup
PEpE DEDe pEPE DeDE
In one relatively gratuitous scene, Lester has two men and a woman make out in a tub. I wonder why they couldn't get anyone with decent face value in this film. Maybe the grant money ran out or something. Suddenly, Lester tells guy #1 to rape the other guy, and gay for pay isn't in the contract.
What does this have to do with the plot again?
Ernie Barong may Biyak sa likod
Police girl is the most erratic character in the film.
She has a meltdown near the end of the film. Or is it a tantrum?
She calls her NBI boss Dad, because he is family. (No, he's not really her dad). No one else calls him that. Then she calls him sir later on. Then she calls him Dad again. I think. My head hurts.
Ayyyyyyyyyt
my opinion is now set in stone: This movie is a masterpiece.
it is because it exists as an anti-film; it tries to become a film while ignoring things like consistent characterization, or a coherent plot, or anything resembling common sense. It tends to meander with sex scenes, gay or straight. People walk around with towels all the time. Maybe it isn't drafty where they live.
Nefarious gay gay hired killer handler Rez Cortez threatens NBI dude with a threatening voice modulated call. Minutes later, NBI dude calls him back with a threatening voice modulated call. It's obvious the two both know each other. What's the damn point behind making a sexy radio voice other than-
ARE THESE DUDES FLIRTING
DIYES
PA
CITO
So people are running from a bunch of gay assassins who are not the gay assassins we've been talking about so far. Police girl asks a random woman if she's seen two guys running. No description, no identifiers. Just two guys.
The woman says yes.
Statistically, she isn't wrong.
Heck, I saw two guys running at the CCP oval before I watched this film. They weren't gay hired killers. Maybe.
That Movie by Alex De Rossi
there seems to be some sort of tacked on commentary about extrajudicial killings or something in this film, but all the films manage to say is that extrajudicial killings... are gay? It feels like it was added at the last minute, but anyway Maria, I would like to give you a short phone call as I am involved in an interesting business opportunity with great potential and I am looking for a serious partner to expand this business.
Are you open for information, what time would be the best to call you?
Best regards,
John
Budjette Tan
PALLOW MY INSTRUCTIONS ONLY! NBI dude exclaims, with all the gravitas he can muster. Police girl gives him the report, or rather, she gives him the good old rusty trombone, reaching around, giving him non answers. I paraphrase:
"Have we identified the killer or not?"
"Well, sir (not dad btw) blablabla"
"So, have we identified him or not?"
"ლორემ იფსუმ დოლორ სით ამეთ, ნონუმy დენიყუე ფაცილისი ნეც ნო. ცასე უთამურ ცონვენირე დუო ეი, ფერიცულის ინსთრუცთიორ ან სედ, ნე სუმმო ლაუდემ სალუთანდი ფრო. ველ ად ფოსსე ლაბითურ არგუმენთუმ, ცუ ეამ დუის დოლორ, ათ ორათიო ომნესყუე ფერსეცუთი ფრო. ველ ჯუსთო ფერსეყუერის ათ, ფრი ეა დუის ცოფიოსაე.'
(continues for a while)
"DO WE KNOW WHO THE KILLER IS OR NOT?"
...
...
...
"...no"
later, it turns out Police girl knew who the killer was all along. This is Game of Thrones level shit. Amazing work
14.
Lester and Travis make their way to the mountains with two flaming torches and a dinky LED flashlight. I guess the LED flashlight didn't have enough lumens to illuminate the frame. They eventually make camp and start a campfire using their torches, which explains why they had to bring those torches along.
Even though they could have brought matches instead and started the fire there.
FINAL
everybody is related to each other in this film. That's the twist.
after all you can't spell wincest without WIN
ONE MORE FINAL
the climax of the film begins
literally and narratively
Rez Cortez gets fucked in the ass
by
not one
BUT TWO
gay
hired
killers
and I find myself transported
I am no longer at the CCP
I am in Cubao
Maybe at the Remar or the Alta
watching sleazy gay softcore porn
and I say to myself
this is better than Despacito 2
- Lang leav
thank you for listening please buy my book of poems, Sad gay hired killers on sale now
IN CLOSiNG
This is the best film of 2018. It deserves all the awards. it deserves a FAMAS, a Gawad Urian, a Balanghai trophy, Cinema One best in float, and especially Little Miss Philippines 1987. Thanks for reading.
***
we return to saner Cinemalaya coverage in the next post.
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