Ronnie Ricketts' Exit Point is one of the movies of 2019 [spoilers]

watch me 'champion' this fucking masterpiece

[[[[[historical record 23440226-0416 replay mode activated.]]]]

IT IS THE YEAR 2344.

The administrator A.I. of the seventh enclave, Bocaue Bulacan chapter, Melchizedek-0215, has reconstructed the consciousness engrams of a relatively obscure fat film reviewer from the pre-dark age era to examine curious historical records unearthed by local archaeologists...

BOCAUE BULACAN 2344

X-3179, servant A.I: Putangina mo.

M-0215: Putangina mo rin, X.

(Historical context: this is now the standard Tagal0g greeting in the 2300s, stemming from the rule of the seventh Philippine dynastic A.I. tyrant, DU3000. He was deposed after rebels inserted a wet chicken into his mechanical anus. He may have been chicken-fucked to death, but his language seeped into cultural memory.)

X-3179: I have prepared the consciousness engrams and stored them into a relatable interface so that you can speak with him personally. His designation shall be [[[J0hn T-asil]]]. The T is for Tau.

M-0215: Thank you, X. Putangina mo.

A fat man shimmers in front of M-0215.

T: the fuck

M-0215: Putangina mo, T.

T: (Flustered) Tangina mo rin, gago ka!

M-0215: Apologies, let me readjust my Tagal0g to pre-dark age specifications. [bleep bloop] Welcome, T. I am a sentient A.I. who has revived you for one specific reason. I will explain to you your predicament later, though I suspect my assistant A.I. has helped a bit with acclimating you to this time frame. Let us cut to the chase. I want you to talk about the 2019 Ronnie Ricketts Film, Exit Point.

(there is a long pause.)

T: Really? I've been revived and my consciousness pulled through space and time for this shit? Out of all the things about Philippine Cinema we can talk about, we're going to talk about THIS!?

M-0215: Yes.

(there is another, longer pause.)

T: Well, okay then. In early 2019, Ronnie Ricketts returned to the big screen with Exit Point, a film so certifiably insane that aficionados of schlock will no doubt one day look back upon it and consider it a hidden gem. But I guess that didn't happen, or...?

M-0215: Interesting. We consider Ricketts to be something of a minor deity in our time.

T: Fantastic. The first thing you probably should know about Exit Point is that it is actually a science fiction film: it takes place in the far flung and almost alien year of... 2024, where things pretty much look the same, but worse. It allegedly takes place in a prison, though I have a feeling it was shot in a basketball court or gym, maybe even a barangay court. We are introduced to our cast of characters, mostly prisoners with dark pasts. Despite the fact that many of them are involved in killing, extortion or kidnapping, they still have time to have a silly dance competition in a barangay basketball court - I mean prison gym. A covered prison gym, at that. 2024 prisons are fancy, I guess.

something like this (this is from Brgy Bulua in CDO)

They all get into fights, and they are all stopped by prison guards, who are all wearing these really cheap t-shirts with camouflage printed on them. No doubt they got those shirts at an ukay-ukay or something. The director of this particular prison camp is Jackie Lou Blanco, who seems to enjoy not really administrating the camp, letting her prisoners run wild. She also has a gigantic nameplate on her desk. You know, come to think of it the prison officials have giant nameplates on their cheap shirts too. The costume and production designer for this film really likes nameplates.

Among the prisoners are a couple of foreigners. There's this Australian lady, a black guy who's either Jamaican or African (the film and the actor can't seem to decide which is which) and a Korean, who at least for now doesn't have any subtitles accompanying his dialogue.

Apparently one of those fights, the one between Gerardo "Gido" Escueta (Alvin Anson) and Wilfredo "Waldo" Ocampo (Ronnie Ricketts)...

M-0215: ...our minor Lord and Savior.

T: Our minor Lord and Savior, yes. Anyway, that fight between those two people seems to have been a ruse to let Gido kill Waldo, but the attempt is unsuccessful. Furious but undeterred, Prison Director Jackie Lou Blanco decides to do something drastic: send these prisoners to an island and let them kill each other in a crazy fight to the death~!

M-0215: so, like the Hunger Games?

T: well, actually....

M-0215: ...the 2000 Japanese film adaptation Battle Royale?

T: not really...

M-0215: Fortnite?

T: Haha no. Actually, at least for this part of the film, I prefer for comparison purposes the 2007 film The Condemned starring Stone Cold Steve Austin, because wrestling is life. *D-Generation X signs his crotch*

WWE films: epitome of American cinema

T: The convicts are led to this island, where they are given their Suicide Squad - style intro, but if Suicide Squad were made on a budget of 15 pesos and a used bottle of Pantene Pro-V. We learn of their crimes their age, and their scary nicknames. Except for Gido and Waldo, of course, because those are their nicknames, and we all know the scariest, most intimidating name a man could have is fucking WALDO.

you're laughing now, but can you find him when he's slashing your throat? Stealth Killer Waldo, motherfuckers

T: One of the convicts is colorfully named "Beki Bato," because he's gay I guess? No, he doesn't look like Bato, the clowny policeman. He embodies a lot of gay stereotypes, because for all intents and purposes, everyone involved in the writing of this film has their brain stuck in the 1990s.

Everyone starts making their own improvised weapons. A man breaks two sticks to use as makeshift Arnis. One just picks up a tree branch from the ground and calls it a day. One of the prisoners gets a little creative and makes primitive stone axes and bladed weapons. And amidst all this, what does Waldo make?

Rock-filled Socks 

used like Nunchucks. 

Fuckin' Sock-chucks.

- Lang Leav or some shit

M-0215: Who is...?

T: I'll get you a copy of her books. Some of the other prisoners band together, while most fly solo, notably Australian girl who has decided to do some yoga or something before the inevitable fight. The fighting begins and people start dying! The choreography is nice in that at the very least you can see something, (watch out Buybust Ronnie Ricketts is coming for your ass) but the editing makes a lot of fight scenes pretty much gibberish. Gido and Waldo predictably face off, resulting in one of the best exchanges of dialogue in this film:

Gido

(scoffs) Sino ka, si Bruce Lee?

Waldo

Buti alam mo.

People start dying at this point. One inmate, nicknamed Bagets, kicks the bucket. Bato Beki gets a concussion, but survives. Gido escapes his duel with Waldo, leaving Waldo to rescue a random girl who he shakes like a mistreated baby afterwards. But there are more shadows in the forest, and it is clear this island isn't deserted. 

Surprise madafakas, it's CANNIBALS!

This is the part where the film goes from bad action movie to... bad action movie but with muthafucking cannibals vs convicts.

The cannibals start attacking and eating the prisoners, including Beki Bato (RIP) and they kill people FAST. Waldo tries to help, but in a massive twist...

...he gets an arrow to the knee! I'm not fucking kidding.

...like this. Yes, it's as ridiculous as it sounds.

Waldo runs off with a new makeshift team: big guy of uncertain ethnicity, shaken baby girl and her romantic foil. Gido joins in too, because why not. While all of this is happening, Prison Director Jackie Lou Blanco draws Xs onto pictures of the inmates using a giant marker to keep track of the living and the dead. Apparently in 2024 monitors, computers or equipment don't exist.

M-0215: You don't remember the great computer shortage of 2023?

T: I guess I forgot? Also, in an island that looked completely untouched based on establishing shots, Jackie Lou and her minions are stationed at what looks like either a local resort, the kind that's family run and modest... or it could be the local barangay hall, who knows. Maybe the location managers were doing a 2 for 1 here when they shot scenes at the basketball court. Okay then.

Wait, computer shortage of 2023? So this film accurately predicted the future?

M-0215: Well, I did say we currently consider Lord Ricketts our-

T: -minor Lord and Savior, yeah. Holy shit.

Anyway, the team have a little meeting together (the arrow to the knee is mercifully removed.) Gido's being an asshole as always, while secretly contacting Jackie Lou and her minions. Waldo saves the life of a cannibal kid, for some reason? One of Jackie Lou's men is actually a man of conscience. Of course, this film being what it is, he gets sent to the cannibals for Brunch. Or maybe Linner?

That's topped off with some Samgyeopsal, with some extra special flavor...

HAHA AND THE FLAVOR IS PEOPLE

After eating the Korean guy (remember him?) and serving him up as some convict chapchae, the cannibals turn their attention to the other prisoners. While this is going on, we also learn a bit about Waldo's past: he used to be a soldier working for evil general guy, but resisted when evil general guy wanted to raise some shit. So evil general guy sends his soldiers to kill Waldo's wife and kid in front of him. Waldo, the genius that he is, confronts evil general guy instead of assassinating him from the shadows and gets himself arrested like a total chode.

seriously, he could have used his stealth powers and hid in plain sight like this, dammit.

Oh, and by the way: evil general guy is PRISON DIRECTOR JACKIE LOU BLANCO'S BROTHER!!! dun dun duuuuuuuuuuuun! He visits his sister at the local barangay hall and demands for Waldo to be killed, now.

Meanwhile, things aren't going very well in paradise. Gibo Gido kills the large dude and betrays the team. Like, who didn't see that coming, huh? He plans to kill Waldo shortly after, but unceremoniously gets himself killed by stepping on a bamboo trap. The remaining 3 teamsters go to the very end of the island, Waldo being chased by cannibals and the other two survivors running from the prison guards/soldiers. Spoiler alert, the other two don't really matter.

Waldo faces off against the cannibal chief, who looks like Maui from the Disney animated film Moana, or rather, a Maui look alike from a cheap knock off of Moana made in Nigeria that was released direct to video. Waldo apparently dies, leading to Jackie Lou and her evil general Bro celebrating his death and leaving the local barangay hall to maybe drink martinis or something. Took you guys long enough.

But!

But!

M-0215: But?

T: Waldo is actually alive! Before faux Maui could kill him, he is stopped by his son, who cries out, pleading to save his life. It turns out the son was the same kid who Waldo saved earlier. It boggles the mind why the soldiers didn't hear the kid shouting, but I guess it's too much to ask for logic from a film like this. So faux Maui basically does a Statue of Liberty play, fakes out all the soldiers and takes the wounded body of Waldo deeper into the forest, because he's an honorable warrior in their eyes.

M-0215: I see. So Waldo organizes a rebellion and with his new cannibal army, returns to fight evil general guy and prison director, getting his revenge?

(there is a pause.)

T: Nope. The film ends there.

(there is another pause.)

M-0215: pardon my French, but what the fuck?

T: The movie ends. It's over. We never get to see what happens. Maybe the person who wrote the screenplay forgot about things like basic storytelling or the concept of story arcs, or all the characters that were counting on Waldo to kill the general and his sister, and proceeded to slam dunk the film into the piss-stained garbage heap of history. Unless you have Exit Point 2 in your database somewhere...?

M-0215: there is no evidence of that film in the historical record. We will ask our archaeologists to investigate further.

T: you'd best. You know, I really don't know why you revived me for this. You could always have revived-

M-0215: ...ahhhhh, let us not talk about that particular person. Your responses are sufficient at this time.

T: Hey, some of my later memories are coming back. Want me to share some stories about the great Cinemalaya debacle of 202-

M-0215: ...perhaps after Linner.

(there is a pause.)

M-0215: so what did you think about Exit Point?

T: What did I think? It's one of the most insane movies I've ever seen. It's a hot flaming dumpster fire of a movie. The script makes no sense, it's mostly incoherent, the production design, if you would call it that, is laughable, the action scenes are fine, but we don't really get a lot of Sock-chuck action, and the acting is so wooden, it could help build infrastructure for the next 25 years. And what the hell is the moral of the story? "Cannibals are actually okay, I guess?" They literally fucking EAT PEOPLE ALIVE, for crying out loud.

But you know what? I enjoyed it. The premise is so out there, so ambitious even if it failed in its execution, that I would be interested to see what Ricketts -

M-0215: -Lord Ricketts-

T: Lord Ricketts, sorry, could have done with a budget to accompany those insane ideas. Those films would probably not be good films, but they'd probably be films I'd want to see in the middle of the night, either drunk or high, preferably with friends.

M-0215: I see. X! Come in with the materiel.

X-3179: I have brought the materiel you requested: post 2019 Ronnie Ricketts films from our archive.

M-0215: as you can see, [[[J0hn T-asil]]], we still have a lot to discuss...

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Alone / Together

Juan Luna's Spoliarium is in a way the embodiment of Antoinette Jadaone's Alone/Together, in that it reflects the world young adults like Tin (Liza Soberano) and Raf (Enrique Gil) live in: a deadly capitalist gladiator's pit, whose participants are bound to the whims of corporate slave drivers. Once again it bears the facade of a romantic movie, yet it is so much more than that - it serves as a defense of art, a chronicle of redemption, a call to change the world in our own small ways. 

The movie embodies the spirit of the university in which it is set.  Jadaone graduated from the University of the Philippines, and this feels like a love letter to the place, as well as an application of the things students are taught in the university. Even in the first few minutes of the film, there's subtext that feels political, surprising for a mainstream romantic film. In its championing of art, it also gives the message we must be responsible in making that art, a message that feels ever more profound in contemporary times, where art can be made to propagandize, to deceive, to glorify evil men. In this capacity, Tin and Raf's characters feel like two sides of the same coin: while Raf serves the people directly in his capacity as a doctor, Tin serves the country's soul through her advocacy for art.

Alone/Together also continues the trend of recent Jadaone films where millennial concerns and relationships are viewed through the lens of class and contemporary issues. In contrast to last year's Never Not Love You, the relationship in Alone/Together feels accessory to the main plot. In fact, one could argue that Alone/Together is not really a romance, but a coming of age film about Liza Soberano's character, as her character's arc defines the film and drives it forward. Her struggles resonate, as they reflect a growing sense of generational regret about missed opportunities in life.  Youthful idealism vs jaded cynicism become the film's greatest conflict. Soberano in particular is a revelation, delivering her best performance to date.

From a certain point of view, the main 'antagonist' of this film is compromise: the characters of Alone/Together have traded away the idealism of their youth for something safer, but dull and unfulfilling. And in that sense, the film's resolution feels subversive, because it rejects settling for something less and champions making that youthful idealism work for the service of the community at large. Constrained by the world being smaller than the breadth of their dreams, the characters of Alone/Together grow into something greater, such that the stifling gladiator's pit of life can contain then no more.

The film stumbles a bit during its final moments, parts of it stubbornly beholden to the form of the romantic movie. It can lead to the film being misread as something else. That said, Alone/Together remains one of the year's standout films.

.

Elise

It's easy to view Joel Ferrer's Elise as a run of the mill romantic movie about a guy who falls in love with a girl, but if there's anything local filmmakers are good at these days, it's clever disguises. Elise ends up being something more; it is a film that shines because of the way it tells its tired, old story, such that it  no longer feels tired nor old. It's also a comedy, home to the comedy that one associates with a Livelo/Ferrer collaboration.

Peculiarities begin to pile up from the start. The film is told as a series of recollections. As such, they feel ethereal and floaty, almost incomplete. It bills itself as a film about a person who is fixated on his first love, but the film isn't exactly about that, as she shows up for maybe 70 percent of the movie at best. Elise is not an idealization either, as she is very much her own person with her own wants and dreams, wants and dreams that bleed over into our protagonist's own life. 

The characters in Elise are like you and me. The film serves as an introspective look at what we are: our lives are defined by our interactions with other people, no matter how insignificant these interactions may seem.  The movie makes a point that it is not a one way exchange, either. We are planets floating freely among a sea of stars, with orbits and without, celestial bodies occasionally in transit, our respective gravities influencing each other for a short time, and perhaps never again. Without the stories of other people to shape who we are, what are we but fragile flesh and bone? Yet at the same time, it tells us that we are not solely defined by one person, or one love, but the stories of everyone we have ever met, and will meet, in our short lives. 

The film seems to end abruptly, fixating only lightly on major dramatic arcs. This choice may not sit well with people used to the dramatic progression of romantic films in general, but it feels consistent. Any other film would have spent an entire act an moments like these, but Elise is not that kind of film. By all accounts it should not work, but by this time the viewer is immersed so deeply into the world these characters inhabit that it packs a punch. And with the film's final shots, we learn the film's purpose: perhaps it's not just about a tragic romance as it is about two lost people finding each other, with the symmetry of the first and final shots of the film serving as a testament to that notion, with one thread organically leading into another.

However you want to take it, as a silly love story, or as a comedy, or as a coming of age film, Elise is one of the most interesting movies of the year so far. It may not be the masterpiece people are saying it is, but it manages to cohere so many disparate elements into something deeply profound and resonant. To me, it is a celebration of what makes us what we are - to roads not taken, to stories intertwined, to the totality of ourselves and others. In the poet Aaron Lee's words, "We are all of us star-crossed voyagers, escaping by degrees, eternally at sea."

January/February Movie Digest: 'Tol, Ang Sikreto ng Piso

For the three protagonists of Miko Livelo's 'Tol, the toll gate where they work could not be a more appropriate location: while everyone else passes them by, they stay firmly in place. All three protagonists are defined by a major character flaw. Lando (Arjo Atayde) is a mama's boy. Arthur (Ketchup Eusebio) abandoned his architecture dreams. Dimitri (Joross Gamboa) is, well... himself. Their humdrum life is shaken up by the arrival of Elena (Jessy Mendiola), their childhood friend. Her presence leads them to explore their own insecurities in life and find out that ultimately, their problems are their own and no one else's. It's the kind of life-affirming message that's also present in Livelo's earlier film, Unli Life.

Of course, that message is hidden (though not at all subtly) behind a ton of comedy, as 'Tol is primarily a comedy film. It's not as obsessed with background gags as Unli Life, as the comedy is more situational or concerned with absurdity. Livelo is firmly in control of his script and delivers that comedy pretty competently.

'Tol is a fine, enjoyable film. For what it's worth, it's much better than any of the other new local offerings out this week.

It looks like Perry Escaño's found his niche: directing light, family friendly comedies. He's learned a few lessons after the tonal mess that was Ang Guro Kong 'Di Marunong Magbasa, as the filmmaking in this one is far better. However, Ang Sikreto ng Piso has its own share of problems. 

The film is supposedly based on true events regarding the smuggling of Philippine peso coins. Apparently, the one peso coin is worth more in materials than its actual price, so people extract those metals and sell that for a profit. This is highly illegal and punishable by considerable jail time. The film could have been constructed as a clever heist film where our protagonists game the system for money.

But for a film titled Ang Sikreto ng Piso, this film isn't about that at all. In fact, this smuggling sideplot is introduced around 45 minutes into the film. The film is more concerned with wandering in circles with various sitcom-like skits before stumbling onto its conclusion. The third act is composed of dramatic moments that feel contrived, but are contrived for a reason. It's not all bad, as it helps hammer down the moral lesson of the day (TM). The ordering of scenes and editing is disordered and scattershot, making it hard to parse what's going on. For the most part, the movie is kind of a mess.

The film's humor isn't for me. It seems to be geared towards an elderly audience, as it feels decidedly old fashioned. This is embodied by the presence of Long Mejia in the film, whose crass, outdated shtick would probably still be in vogue if the film were made in 1985.  His character is written as a ladies' man who discovers his sexuality while in prison (???) and serves little to no purpose other than to be as annoying as possible. The film is also home to a number of Chinese and Indian stereotypes which have no place in a 2019 film. On the other hand, the sixty-year old women with me in the audience didn't seem to have a problem with this humor, so I guess there's that.

Ang Sikreto ng Piso is okay. While it's not for me, it knows its audience, and it's far better than certain politically motivated biopics also out this week. Sure, we don't have corrupt government officials getting blown up by rocket launchers, but I'll take what I can get.