I have admittedly watched less movies this year compared to the past few years, mostly due to reasons I've already outlined in the previous part of this special roundup. That hasn't stopped me from watching some really strange and sometimes wonderful things.
I won't be posting a worst-of or unfavorite list this year because frankly, who wants some (albeit humorous) negativity in 2022? Not me. I'm Zen now.
Favorite Videos on Youtube
1. Section 8 (dir. Jon Bois/Secret Base)
Jon Bois is one of the best sportswriters living today, with the special power to tell amazing stories through data. There are so many great Dorktown films from this year but my personal favorite is Section 8, a story about a game with unusually high stakes. Bois frames the game as a thriller, a game whose outcome may literally mean life or death.
2. Line Goes Up - The Problem With NFTs (Dan Olson/Folding Ideas)
In this concise and well researched video, Dan Olson gets into why most of the time with NFTs, you're pretty much better off setting fire to your money.
Action Button videos are usually multiple hours long, overly sesquipedalian, and utterly absorbing. This latest review (premiering on my birthday!) is as much an exploration of an obscure PS1 classic as it is an exploration of nostalgia, memory, and mono no aware.
Favorite Editing Moment of 2022
Editing is best when you don't really notice it, but this is a prominent exception. When you think of editing to music, perhaps you envision a building crescendo of music until a big, emotional moment happens.
 |
| if you've watched Your Name, this is an example (and some of you probably got slightly teary eyed remembering this) |
There is one Vivamax film whose editing on one particular moment is simply unforgettable. In Raffy Francisco's Breathe Again, Joanna (Ariella Arida) falls in love with her diving instructor Robert (Tony Labrusca). She has resisted cheating on her philandering boyfriend but Robert's just too handsome. So during a very romantic trip through the islands, they start making out. Shanne Dandan's song Sandali Lang starts to play. It builds up slowly as the two ride on a boat, go to a secluded beach and, just as the music begins to hit its crescendo... it cuts to a shot of them having sex. Not tender love making or any of that shit, just straight up, bouncing up and down fucking. It is the most hilariously glorious editing decision I have ever seen.
I would like to show it to you guys (it's on Vivamax, start at around the 52 minute mark if you don't want to watch the whole movie) but it's not safe for work, so instead, I will simulate what happens in the movie, with the special participation of Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson:
Favorite Arthouse Film About Social Heirarchies and Upending Them (Guest Starring Capitalism)
The answer to this is simple, and there is actually more than one answer: the numerous weird ads for State of Survival.
State of Survival is a resource management survival mobile game with gacha elements made by some Chinese company. If you've ever owned a mobile ad with apps (or don't have Ad Block for YouTube) you might have seen one of these commercials already. They almost always feature the same actors and have the same basic scenario.
The universe in which these ads take place is a strange alternate reality, where social status and prestige is determined by how well you are doing in the game. In the ad above, a would be bride is caught red handed and just about to do some sexytime with a construction worker. The groom is sad and mad, asking the bride how she could do this when he, at the urgings of his future mother-in-law, already gave her the legendary hero Lucky, who is able to kill many zombies, as a sort of dowry present! Mother in law smacks construction worker guy in the face with a small cake, when construction guy confesses that not only is he in the possession of a maxed level Lucky, he also has THREE, I repeat THREE other legendary heroes and WITHOUT SPENDING A PENNY (emphasis mine), he's "survived a hundred days in the doomsday!!" and therefore he's so much better than the groom.
With this new revelation, mother in law pushes aside would be groom and accepts construction guy as her daughter's new husband. Social hierarchies have been upended, power has been given to the workers, suck on that Karl Marx!! All thanks to promo code Nanami2022 and Treasure2022 which guarantees 400 free draws!!1!1
My favorite of these ads, actually, concerns an abusive cop:
Said abusive cop drunkenly abuses a common citizen because the cop's a part of the state apparatus and uses violence to enforce power... the 2 million power he has because he has legendary heroes Lucky, Becca and Nanami, that is!!
A concerned citizen comes out and tries to chastise the cop. "How dare you bully common citizens!!" she says. The cop isn't having it, asking here lewdly if she's free tonight (complete with seductive tongue action!) Truly, A.C.A.B.!!!!
But then he's stopped by a trio of common citizens who tell him that they have those three legendary heroes and more, and they too have "survived a hundred days in the doomsday!!" He retreats! Police brutality is ended forever! Hooray!
Best Superhero Name
Before we talk about the best Superhero Name, let's talk about one of the wildest local films to come out in 2022: Genius Teens. Genius Teens is a two part movie series about a bunch of teens (and not-so-teens) with super powers. There's an asteroid involved or some sort of alien celestial body. Also, despite the title saying so, having super powers have no additional effect on the intelligence quotients of these teens, so we've all been jebaited. Baby Geniuses this is not.
The show doesn't seem to mind lifting ideas from other franchises, in fact, one of them is lifted directly from a certain clown prince of crime:
Anyway, that's how most of the names in this movie are. They're very simple. If a character looks like a janitor, his name is probably Janitor. Don't take it from me, see for yourself:
Favorite Film About Planes - Top Gun Maverick
All things considered, it's just okay compared to some of the balls out action blockbusters on here but it's pretty fun! And do you know that the Su-57 incorporates stealth, supermaneuverability, supercruise, integrated avionics, and substantial internal payload capacity? Do you know it is expected to succeed the MiG-29 and Su-27 in the Russian military service and has also been marketed for export? Do you know that the first prototype aircraft flew in 2010, but the program would experience a protracted development due to various structural and technical issues that emerged during trials, including the destruction of the first production aircraft in a crash before its delivery? And do you know that after repeated delays, the first Su-57 entered service with the Russian Aerospace Forces (VKS) in December 2020?? The fighter is expected to have a service life of up to 35 years!
In 1979, the Soviet Union outlined a need for next-generation fighter aircraft intended to enter service in the 1990s. The program became the I-90 (Russian: И-90, short for: Истребитель 1990–х годов, lit. 'Fighter of the 1990s') and required the fighter to be "multifunctional" (i.e., multirole) by having substantial ground attack capabili-
Favorite Movie About Security Guards on a Beach
Security Academy. I just wanted to include it in here. No cap
Craziest Vivamax Moments (SPOILER ALERT!!)
This is clickbait. The answer is obviously everything, everywhere all at once. I honestly cannot pick one. This year is full of crazy shit from Vivamax. Perhaps it's the opening of Roman Perez Jrs' Putahe, where Ayanna Misola uses a fish as a dildo? Wouldn't that chafe? What if the fish bit her or something?? (Afterwards, she yeets the fish into the sea like a softball.)
Maybe it's the ending of Joel Lamangan's Moonlight Butterfly, when things kinda end with a building exploding, resolving absolutely zero plotlines? This is not a Cat III Hong Kong Z-movie what the heck are y'all doing!? lol
Maybe it's that scene in Pusoy where Baron Geisler gets pegged by his lover and he barks like a pomeranian? I watched that film back to back with Doll House so imagine the whiplash.
Maybe it's that one scene in Roman Perez Jrs' Hugas where a little person is gifted to a rival gang, and upon receipt the little guy just lets loose with a handgun? Or, in the same movie, a torture scene is juxtaposed with Cara Gonzales plucking her armpit hairs??
Or maybe it's that one scene in Victor Villanueva's Boy Bastos where our protagonist American Pies a lumpia and his hungry aunt happens to come in? Yup, what you're thinking, that happens. lol. great film.
Vivamax is fun, guys.
Most Insane Short Film
It's one of these two films:
A couple of months ago, someone released this little undiscovered gem on ticket2me. A twofer for just 150 pesos, it looked promising. From the moment the production company logo was blown up by a green screen artillery explosion effect, I knew I had struck gold. Here's a trailer for the first of the two films, Love Ain't Enough, just for you to get a feel of what's going on:
The Photographer is a story of a guy who kills someone, but various people just keep walking into the room and he has to kill them, too. It's like that one time in Red Dead Redemption but most of the events happen in an apartment bathroom. Taken with the budget of 120 pesos and the technical film expertise of an upside down turtle, it's quite a sight to behold.
***
Hope y'all enjoyed, next up, some of my favorite non-Filipino films from around the world.
No comments:
Post a Comment