Notes on Ikaw at Ako at ang Ending

 

How many days has it been since the pandemic started? March 2020 feels so far away, and there seems to be no ending in sight. And speaking of endings: many of the films I watched during those first few months were films about the end. Threads, The Day After, pandemic films in general, the bleaker the better. Maybe I was trying to contextualize what was going on with the world during those days that flowed into each other. Ultimately, I didn't find the meaning I was looking for during that time. In fact, I don't think I found anything at all.

Mylene (Kim Molina) and Martin (Jerald Napoles) feel like they're in similar dead ends. Mylene works as the staff of a resort hotel, but she doesn't feel fulfilled by her job. There are other things that affect her worldview, but she keeps those things to herself. Martin is a bagman for a wealthy politician, but because of previous unfortunate events, is just living his life one day at a time.

They meet each other and their relationship seems physical in nature (complete with a number of sexy scenes). But at this point in time, it feels more like Mylene and Martin need each other more than they love each other. They identify with their newfound partner because, perhaps unconsciously, they see something of themselves in each other. Some people who have watched the film note that the two characters take to each other quicker than expected, but to me this feels right. There's a bit of desperation in them meeting. When things seem so dire, wouldn't it be logical to find refuge in someone, anyone else?

While this is going on, the atmosphere is ominous, the tone uneasy and uncertain. Bad things are happening far away, but there's the notion that it can come at any moment. The apocalypse is looming. The "ending" in the film's title takes different forms: for the characters, and for the entire world.

What worth is there to a life that exceedingly feels meaningless? If the world is ending, what worth is it to live at all? This film's answer to that question reminds me of something Sartre said on existentialism: in an initial state where man is nothing, "he will not be anything until later, and then he will be what he makes of himself." Mylene and Martin find that while there is no reason behind existing, there is no reason not to live either, and they find that drive to live on in each other, apocalypse be damned.