 |
| xi30_frenching_ASMR.mp3 |
It's hard to distill the entirety of Filipino Cinema in just 15 films. There are so many other great performances and other cinema-related things that defined the year, and I'd like to share some of that here with you in the second part of this three part series.
First off, here are five films that almost made the top 15, all very good films in their own right. Here are
John Tawasil's
HONORABLE MENTIONS 2019
hindi po ito worst, best pa rin ito, baka lang maconfuse kayo
HM#1: Alone/Together (dir. Antoinette Jadaone)
Alone/Together is two dueling films in one: as a romantic movie, Alone/Together is just ok. But as a movie about a woman finding herself and achieving her full potential, I think this film is best of year material (not just favorite, but best of year.)
HM#2: Lola Igna (dir. Eduardo Roy, Jr.)
Another little gem from the PPP, Lola Igna is a tender examination of celebrity culture and old age, lifted by an amazing performance by Angie Ferro - one of the year's best performances, in fact.
HM#3: Open (dir. Andoy Ranay)
The best Andoy Ranay film is Open, a relationship drama about the breakup of two people who probably should have broken up waaaaay back. Open's not really about the openness of a relationship with a partner, but about openness of a future without them.
HM#4: Akin ang Korona (dir. Zig Dulay)
Imagine being on a film festival about social realism and making a film deconstructing and criticizing the manufacture of social realism. That takes balls.
HM#5: Metamorphosis (dir. JE Tiglao)
Though at times more melodramatic and on the nose than I personally prefer, Metamorphosis talks about something unique and in need of a voice, which I can appreciate.
So that's basically #16-20 if you prefer. Now we segue to:
John Tawasil's
Special Citations for Philippine Film 2019
Favorite Local Film Festival - QCinema 2019/Cinema One Originals 2019 (tie)
Great lineups, more venues, better experiences. And this year they don't happen immediately after the other!
Most Horrible Film Fest-related Tragedy - loss of Gardenia over at Cinemalaya 2019
I cried when Cinemalaya downsized their food options. I was a sadboi for about 2 minutes, because I make my own damn rules, I brought my own loaf of Gardenia to Cinemalaya, bitches
 |
| I AM INEVITABLE |
The most irritating part of these time travel stories is WHY DON'T THESE PEOPLE KNOW TEMPORAL CAUSALITY. Avengers Endgame came out THIS YEAR. There is absolutely no excuse.
Most Dance Movie Thing Ever Said - Indak
And I paraphrase, "Let's show them our feelings through dance!"
Most Impressive Collection of Luxury Cars in a Local Movie - Mission Unstapabol
Seriously, this is approaching Fast and the Furious Levels. These are some impressive (and expensive!) cars. One wonders where they came from.
Saddest Disappointment of 2019 - An1: The Harvest, O
The first had wonderful worldbuilding that was ruined by an awkward edit. The second had probably the best intro of 2019 (using IV of Spades' I am a Butterfly) but was basically an incomplete film.
Favorite Movie Moments of 2019:
1) The Christmas Lights Scene (Isa Pa, With Feelings)
2) Kathang Isip (LSS)
3) Asin (Babae at Baril)
4) One Take Party scene (Tayo, sa Huling Buwan ng Taon)
Most eeeeevil villain of 2019 Philippine Cinema that is not "Cinema Operators" - JC Santos as Ethan in Open
This dude legit freaked me out. Hide your mothers, hide your sisters etc etc.
Best Horror Film - Sunod
This year isn't exactly the best in Philippine horror, but there are a few decent ones. Probably one of MMFF 2019's best entries is a horror film with an atmosphere that is unmatched among similar films this year. and great turns by Carmina Villaruel, Kate Alejandrino and Krystal Brimner. (honorable mention for Horror film has to go to Clarita, which is decent in and of itself.)
Movie Star for All Seasons - Dante Gulapa
because why not. Thanks to his amazing skill, the man has appeared in two movies this year.
Weirdest Use of a Song in a Historical Film - Damaso
Imagine the tense meeting scenes in Heneral Luna, but instead of a tense meeting everyone's doing jazz hands and singing like it's a counterfeit Ryan Cayabyab musical.
Most Explosive Scene 2019 - I'm Ellenya L.
You know the one.
And you know I'm right. lol
Most tense moment of 2019 that worked out really well - Finding out which would be Eddie Garcia's last film after he died
For a long time it was Sanggago. Thank Cthulhu it ended up being Kalel, 15.
Prolific Director Award 2019 - Joven Tan, Jason Paul Laxamana
IIRC, Both released 4 movies this year each.
Favorite New Cinema - Ayala Malls Manila Bay
The mall itself is still a work in progress, but watching C1 Originals Films in these brand new cinemas were a 2019 highlight.
Stupidest Movie of 2019 But In A Good Way - Mystified
Mystified reunites the cast of the original Encantadia in a streaming only special effects laden extravaganza that I can only call one of the stupidest things I have ever seen, in a good way. The plot is about an exiled band of magic users trying to revive the Dark Lord Luvictus, who I can best describe as an "Arabic Chippendales Wizard."
 |
| AREOLAS THE SIZE OF HUBCAPS |
Jinri Park is in this film, looking for host bodies for another evil witch. The host body, she says, is VERY Sexy, as if it were a vaunted criterion. In a hospital room (not a ward) there is the sound of a respirator, even though there is no respirator in the room. One character unironically exclaims "Bye Felicia!" as they hurtle down to the ground. This film is the gift that keeps on giving.
***
You can't talk about the best without talking about the opposite of best, and you can't talk about favorites without talking about Unfavorites. Yes, that is a word, I claim it in the name of the Empire of Man, all hail the Emperor of Mankind. This year was home to a lot of mediocre films, but not a lot of truly vomit-inducing films. I honestly feel a little worse for the former than the latter. Say a little prayer for the mediocre films, the Pansamantagals and the Papa Pogis that will disappear from memory over time. That isn't to say I didn't enjoy some of these films, but watching bad films is hard, yo.
 |
| The Portrait of a Film Reviewer as a Filipino v3 (Tawasil, 2019) |
John Tawasil's
Unfavorite Local Films of 2019
yes, these are the not so good films
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Trigonal Honorable Mention Award Certificate: Exit Point (dir. Ronnie Ricketts)
This certifiably insane film about prison cannibals, rock sock nunchucks and Where's Waldo falls into the "it's so bad, it's good" category. It ends on a cliffhanger, and since Ronnie Ricketts may be going to real prison we may not see a sequel? I'm just waiting for him to escape and join some real life cannibals and make the sequel with them as co-stars. Authenticity!
9-10. Hanggang Kailan?/My Bakit List (dir. Bona Fajardo)
Okay, these are not really that bad; they're at the very least decent tourism videos. But the romance that surrounds these thinly veiled tourism videos are really not that great, both involving toxic men. The former is a film about a girl conflicted about splitting with a confirmed cheater, the second is a film about a girl conflicted about letting go of a confirmed chea... wait a minute
8. Boy Tokwa: Lodi ng Gapo (dir. Tony Y. Reyes)
This weird, unfunny, badly shot garbage was produced by senator Tito Sotto. If this is any indication of the quality of the films we're gonna get from him (in, say, future MMFFs,) we'll be taking cues from another Philippine senator:
 |
| well, have you? |
***
7. Kiko en Lala (dir. Adolf Alix, Jr.)
THIS WAS THE GUY WHO DIRECTED ISDA. And now, he's involved with making this completely uninspired film, which is probably also unfinished given the state of the special effects, which looked like they were done on my neighbor's Pentium 266 from FREAKING 1998.
6. Familia Blondina (dir. Jerry Sineneng)
Hey guys, wanna make a movie in a weekend? Let's just get a couple of wigs from the bodega, smear some shit on a script and we're all set. This is the textbook definition of a film that doesn't even try. This wouldn't even get a "You Tried" star in kindergarten. It would get something like this instead:
 |
| this makes mommy want to take little bobby back to the hospital |
***
5. The Last Interview: The Mayor Antonio Halili Story (dir. Ceasar Soriano)
Aside from its artistic decision to ACTUALLY INCLUDE THE REAL DEATH FOOTAGE OF ANTONIO HALILI, a decision that I find disrespectful to the person involved, this film inserts its own director, Unfavorite film list hall of famer Ceasar Soriano, as a self-insert. Perhaps he wanted to be a heroic journalist like the guys from Spotlight, but he ended up being a Boyoyong clown made of pinewood instead.
4. Bato: The Gen. Ronald Dela Rosa Story (dir. Adolf Alix, Jr.)
Biopics sometimes lionize great men, though to at least have a bit of success in that regard the man has to have a little lion in him in the first place. But how do you lionize a jackal? I don't know what financial difficulties Alix had this year, but he must've really needed the money. A shameless (potentially illegal) political ad shown months before a major election, Bato is lifeless, mirthless, craftless and silly, especially since Jelson Bay is a much better fit for Bato and you know it.
3. Love; Life (dir. Nikko Arcega)
Love; Life isn't actually a bad film, if you read it as a film about a deranged psychopath taking an unwitting girl into his psychotic fantasy, believing that she is the reincarnation of his ex-fiancee. But if you read it as a romantic film, Love; Life seems like it was written by a rudimentary A.I. that writes romantic scripts but was ruined thanks to a 4chan raid. Or maybe this should have been called To My Alien Friend instead of that documentary, because this could potentially be evidence that extraterrestrials are trying (and failing) to find out how human relationships work.
2. 3Pol Trobol Huli Ka Balbon (dir. Coco Martin)
Proponents of the MMFF say that the reason why experiments like the 2016 edition of the fest "didn't work" was because audiences want films for the entire family, and ESPECIALLY films for kids. 3Pol Trobol is not a film for kids. I'd say it's not a film for adults either. In fact, it's not a film for human consumption; it is perhaps best shown by sadists to cattle or pigs in slaughterhouses to remind them of the cruel inevitability of death. It has three (3) attempted rapes, and the punishment (handed out by Isko Moreno, no less, which isn't a good look for the good mayor)? A slap on the wrist. It's neanderthal times again, folks. The film is full of offensive messages: 1) drag is funny and is just straight people dressing up to cop a feel (haha was that a pun) 2) Women cross dressing is weird, and proves that they shouldn't be working in male spaces and 3) almost raping someone gets you a slap on the wrist. haha but what do Filipinos care they want fAmIlY EnTeRtAiNmEnT ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
1. KontrAdiksyon (dir. Njel de Mesa)
This film is every shitty Facebook post shared by your friend or family member that you probably should have blocked a long time ago, but you don't because you don't want an echo chamber or just don't want to for the lulz. Mix that with a bunch of turds, some leaps in logic and Zombies (!) and you get a film so terrible, it made me wonder if you can retract a Palanca award for shittiness.
Okay, I guess that's about it?
Haha just kidding
SPECIAL RAGE-INDUCED DISHONORABLE MENTION
0. The second half of Pandanggo sa Hukay (dir. Sheryl Andes)
No cinematic moment has made my blood pressure shoot up like the second half of Cinemalaya 2019's Pandanggo sa Hukay. To be fair, the first half of the film is good, great even. But it then devolves into a horrible tonally deaf shitshow, as if someone took the second half of the script and urinated on it. It's arty and edgy in all the wrong ways, and deserves this star:
***
It's time to end this three parter with a handful of excellent films from the world stage and a special announcement about the future of this blog.
No comments:
Post a Comment