Pansamantagal may actually be Joven Tan's most polished film, given that it actually goes in some sort of clear narrative direction - the same can't be said of his three previous films. This is Tan's version of a mumblecore romance, albeit one made with the budget of 300 pesos and an expired pack of Lucky Me Supreme and the elegance and sophistication of a nine year old's dirty joke; That Thing Called Tadhana with a bunch of dick jokes.
In this film, Gelli de Belen is Agness, a mistress who very clearly wants the D, and that's an upper case D for a reason. She befriends Lorena (DJ Chacha), the proprietor of the resort she's staying in, who is also obsessed with the D, and whose dialogue mostly consists of 1) asking Agnes if she's had sex yet or 2) asking Agnes if they'd had sex yet. The dialogue is supposed to reflect openness and candor, but it ends up being crass instead.
There's also a romance (??) book that clearly references Agnes (and her obsession with large sausages), whose author is the only saving grace for a couple of elderly publishers. Spoiler alert: nothing really happens to this subplot, so it's okay to not care. Agnes also bonds with Leo (Bayani Agbayani) who enjoys ripping up said book in the cliff overlooking the ocean for some mysterious reason. I hope those pages are biodegradable.
There seems to be some sort of (awkward, but it's there) relationship forming between Agnes and Leo, but the film veers straight into a wall (or a house, or a waiting shed) and crashes and burns in its last few minutes. Too bad, since there's just a little bit of earned sentiment near the end, in that the written word may disappear and things may pass, but memories tend to stick somehow - and for a Joven Tan film, that's actually kind of a clever idea.
Romeo (Teddy Corpuz) looks like the product of drunken sex between a horse and a cro-magnon, and there's actually a reason for that: his family was cursed long ago to only give birth to ugly as fuck male kids, as long as they hook up with beautiful women. To try to break this curse, Romeo tries to hook up with less than attractive Venus (Donna Cariaga), and surprise surprise, he actually falls in love with the girl. Unfortunately, she suddenly disappears from his life. But Haruki Murakami this ain't, and Romeo finds a new potential partner in Helena (Myrtle Sarrosa), who hides a mysterious secret. Yeah, I can hear you from a mile away, it's exactly as it looks like.
Papa Pogi purports to play on the notion that personality is better than outward appearances, but its exploration of that notion is only skin deep. If Romeo isn't really concerned with appearances, why try to break the curse in the first place? The women in this story are treated more or less like prizes to be won, objects, or minor annoyances instead of flesh and blood people. Even Venus, the most developed of the female characters in this story, has her life revolve around Romeo? Maybe live independently for a change, girl.
I concede that the movie can be occasionally funny, but I'm not sure if it coheres into a movie I'd spend 250 pesos on. Well, I did for the purposes of this review, but I don't think I'll be doing that again for this film for the rest of eternity.
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