A Presently Confusing Decade: The Worst

When it comes to reviewing films, I'm pretty lenient. I usually give positive points to even the most ridiculously plotted, cheap, pathetic films ever made. But there are times when even my own patience cannot save a film. They are truly, BAD films.

There are bad movies that are so bad that they are actually good. If drunk or with equally wasted friends, movies like these can be ridiculed to death. And it's fun. You will have gotten your money's worth by shamelessly excoriating these bad films.

Then there are the bad films that are so bad they are just.... bad. They are films that leave a sour taste in your mouth. They are films that you wish you had pirated instead. They are abominations beyond human understanding.

I'd include a few Uwe Boll films here, but his oeuvre belongs in a category all its own.

My least favorite films of the past 10 (+1) years are:

Tekken

What could have been - THIS IS THE MOST AWESOME MOVIE EV4R!!!!11oneone punching people into the sky, buildings exploding due to punch shockwaves, Brian Fury fucking up an entire army. Because. He. Is. The. Man.

What actually happened - Where are the fights? Where's Kazuya's spine? Why is it always dark? What the fuck is going on!?

My Take - The latest in a long line of bad videogame adaptations. It does everything wrong and pisses all over the source material as if it were that large piece of shit that you want to break apart with your stream of piss. Or something like that.

X3: The Last Stand

What could have been - A movie based on the Phoenix/Dark Phoenix saga, one of the greatest (if not the greatest) story arcs of X-men in the history of the comic. Last two movies, X-Men and X2 were pretty good. That's all I really have to say.

What actually happened - The cinematic equivalent if X-men were a comic book written on yellow pad paper by a 6 year-old.

My Take - There are bad superhero movies, and there is X3: The Last Stand. With plot holes the size of goatse's anus and a patched-together plot that stinks like the aforementioned anus, X3 is as exciting as watching paint dry. It was either this or Spiderman 3, and that one also sucked, but this one took the cake. It also took the plate, the table, the knife and fork, and the room the cake came in.

Pamahiin

What could have been - Decent Asian Horror. With fanservice from Iya Villania of course.

What actually happened - A non-intentional comedy, with non-intentional fanservice from Iya Villania.

My Take - Granted, I've spared myself the horror of watching shitty horror movies from the Philippines (Feng Shui being one of the few halfway decent movies) so I can't say this is the worst, but halfway through the movie I thought this was more a comedy than a horror film. The first half delves into this motif of superstitions, but then in the second half it suddenly transforms into this cheap mishmash of 'possessed' films that Filipinos seemed to love in the late 80's or 90's or something.

Catwoman

What could have been - an epic comic book film about one of Batman's more interesting villains.

What actually happened - an epic failure.

My Take - oh, speaking of bad superhero movies, there's this pile of shit. If I were a cat, I'd probably lose 8 of my 9 lives watching this disaster. Don't blame Halle Berry, it wasn't her fault.

Enteng Kabisote 4

What could have been - to be fair, I really wasn't expecting anything.

What actually happened - 90 minutes of nostalgic cameos, cheap special effects and product placement. Plot? What is this... plot you speak of?

My Take - Take everything you absolutely hate about Philippine cinema. An array celebrities appearing just for the lulz? check. Product placements so frequent it almost feels like corporate masturbation? check. "Special" effects covering for a story that was made by a dozen monkeys typing randomly on a dozen typewriters? check. Corny jokes that were 'in' during the early 1960's? check. This movie fits all the criteria and then some. If there were a bottom of the movie barrel, this would probably be somewhere beyond the bottom of the barrel and somewhere closer to hell.

That's it! That's all I have. I've only watched 1 film in the past 10 days, and it wasn't planet shakingly awesome (it was just ok) so I probably won't be doing a pahabol segment. That's it for 2010. See you guys next year, and have a great time.

Till then, stay presently confused~!

A Presently Confusing Decade: The Rest of the World and Documentaries

Rounding up our round-up (heh) are notable films from the rest of the world that I couldn't classify, and documentaries.

Notables from the Rest of the World

Amelie (France) - it's fun, quirky, and it introduced the mainstream world to Audrey Tautou. Definitely a must watch.

City of God (Brazil) - this cinematic bildungsroman of a man's struggle during tumultuous times in Rio di Janeiro's slums offers us an alternative look at the place, far removed from outsider's eyes: roving gangs of child killers, gangs, drugs, sex and alcohol.

Day Watch (Russia) - this Russian supernatural epic is the most polished of the two films that came out (hello Hollywood, still waiting on that third one...) with great special effects and a complex story with interesting characters to boot.

Banlieue 13 (France) - probably not the best plotted film out there, but this film and its sequel were hella fun to watch. Kept me on my toes from start to finish.

Y tu mama tambien (Mexico) - A coming of age tale between two dudes and an older woman as they travel across the countryside to some mythical place. Plus, boobies. Gotta have those boobies.

As for documentaries, they've been on the uptake this decade too. This decade saw all 5 of the top 5 grossing documentaries get shown. Most of them are by controversial documentary director Michael Moore, whose filmmaking style mixing gonzo journalism, sarcastic humor, and honest truth made his movies great to watch.

Docu

Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room - As one of the people in this film remarks: This is not a tale about ridiculously complex financial transactions. This is a tale about people, and how their hubris and delusions of grandeur brought down a billion-dollar company into bankruptcy within a matter of days.

The King of Kong - It's a man vs. the world story, in the background of the golden age of arcade video games. It's silly, and at times you wonder about these men and their motivations, but you will be rooting for Steve Wiebe by the end.

Chasing Ghosts: Beyond the Arcade - Having (re)introduced yourself to the era of arcade video games, this documentary takes the material and explores it in a different manner, showing us the perspective of a number of guys who were the best in the world at a particular video game, and how they lived with that notion.

Apocalypse: The Second World War - using colorized footage of the second world war, this six-part series is a tale of the world's most horrifying war - and a stark reminder that such things must not be repeated again.

Fahrenheit 9/11 - the status of this film as 'documentary' is debateable, but out of Michael Moore's films during this decade, this one may have actually changed a few minds about the war and its implications to the US and the world at large.

Other Notable Documentaries: Food, Inc., The Corporation, Game Over: Kasparov and the Machine, The Bridge, I Got Next, Frag and sooooooo many others.

And Next Up: Finally, what good is a favorites list without the non-favorites list? John T lists his worst movies of the past decade (+1.)

A Presently Confusing Decade: Hollywood

Ah, Hollywood, the center of the movie universe. Hollywood blockbusters made gazillions of dollars over the past ten years, but here were the biggest earners of that time.

Large Scale Epics - nothing would dazzle the imagination more than grand sweeping epic films filled with huge battles, drama and pathos. Special effects were fast becoming part of the picture itself rather than a supplement to it. At some points, special effects were all that were there, replacing any traditional scenery, action or what have you. The new Star Wars trilogy is probably the most heinous offender. With its all SFX backgrounds, you tend to lose sight of the personal issues and forget what the movie should really be all about.

Sequels, sequels and more sequels - nothing fueled the industry more than continuing the plots of films that didn't need sequels. Riding on movies that were classics in their own right, films continued stories that needed no continuation; indeed, few could be considered as classics of the caliber of the original. Some sequels were decades apart; feeding on the nostalgia of the moviegoers' populace.

Living on the 80s - And nostalgia was the biggest draw of this decade. How many 70s or 80s TV shows did you see on the screen? Hollywood did its best to sap on the creativity of the past, while offering nothing new but wrapping old material in a glossy new package.

Heroics on Film - The Superhero film. Comics were soon recognized as a legitimate source of inspiration, thanks to their fantastic and deep storylines, interesting characters, and the ability of special effects to do this allowed us to see some great and some not so great films.

But despite this, the imaginations of some filmmakers shined through this decade with their uncompromising visions. American independent cinema had visions of its own, far removed from the popular trends in mainstream Hollywood. Uncompromising films like The Limits of Control or Synecdoche, New York would challenge moviegoing audiences and critics alike.

My favorite Hollywood films of the last 10 +1 years are:

Inception - Christopher Nolan struck gold twice in the past 2 years. I think he has learned from his previous films and made a thinking man's blockbuster. Dreams within dreams within dreams, and a world bound only by one's imagination - makes for a very engaging film. The ending left its mark by sparking a wave of discussion long after the movie had ended.

The Dark Knight - the 2000s gave birth to (or resurrected?) a different genre of films that catered to the newly emerging comic book generation: The Superhero Movie. Although it led to the production of a lot of mediocre adaptations, a couple of good ones, and some considerable garbage, this one stands along as a film that transcends the superhero genre and becomes its own. The unbelievable performance by the late Heath Ledger is once in a lifetime, and his passing was truly a tragic one.

Broken Flowers - One of Bill Murray's standout films this decade, pairing him with director Jim Jarmusch. It's a man's search for his own self through his past loves.

Waking Life - Richard Linklater has made his share of films this decade. Some were sequels (Before Sunset) some were mainstream fare (School of Rock) and some were misguided at best (Fast Food Nation.) This rotoscoped animated film, released in 2001, was my favorite of them all. It's just a couple of dudes talking about stuff, but it is never boring. He would follow this one up with A Scanner Darkly, based on the Philip K. Dick story.

Lost in Translation - Yeah, Bill Murray. Movies like this make me forget that he did shit like Garfield a Tale of Two Kitties. Yep. This movie also made me notice Scarlett Johansson for the first time. That qualifies it for awesomeness immediately. But add a great story about two people meeting by chance and finding each other's friendship in an alien land and you have a winner.

The Lord of the Rings - this movie redefined the definition of Epic for this decade. I have to lump the three movies together as they really only function cohesively as one film (except maybe the first, which can stand on its own.) Peter Jackson pulls out all the stops to recreate the world of Middle-earth on the big screen.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind - few films have the visual panache as this one has, interpreting dreamscapes through the quirky mind of Michel Gondry. But beyond the lush visuals is the deconstruction of a relationship in reverse - tracing its events from the breakup and back to happy times. And yet, there is the bittersweet notion that depsite all the things that went on, the end result will forever be the same.

Kill Bill - I think Quentin Tarantino and I would have a lot to say if we got into a room together. A big chunk of what we would say would probably be about the awesome movies we've seen. Tarantino has a penchant of taking the stuff that he likes from various movies and genres and mashing them together to form something of a tribute to these films. With Kill Bill, he takes Wuxia, Chambara, Exploitation films, grindhouse films, Spaghetti Westerns, Japanese splatterfests and whatever thing he can get his hands on and takes them all together to make a pretty good film.

Punch Drunk Love - Paul Thomas Anderson is one of the more exciting American directors of recent times. With this film he made Adam Sandler experience a depth of acting that few knew existed, while exploring the themes of loneliness and belonging in a strange world that not all of us will easily understand.

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World - It's hyper like an ADHD riddled child, but it's the perfect film to encapsulate the period of the last ten to fifteen years. With Edgar Wright's frenzied directing, the videogame-like setting and the mingling of fantasy and reality, this is a film that sadly flopped at the box office, but for those who did see it, were treated to their money's worth.

Noteworthy: Before Sunset, Hard Candy, Cypher, Babel, A Scanner Darkly, Juno

A Presently Confusing Decade: Anime

It's no secret that I love anime, so I'm making a separate section and treating it like the independent genre that it is.

The 2000's was an interesting decade for anime. Films like Ghost in the Shell and series like Cowboy Bebop had introduced anime for more mainstream fans. Shows like Pokemon and Yugioh targeted kids; and the scene exploded.

Increasing strides in technology allowed for easy sharing of anime, spawning a substantial subtitling community. Gone were the days when you had to wait months for anime to be released in your country (if at all;) now, the latest episodes of the most popular anime could be viewed days or even hours after the original Japanese airing. Streaming sites like Youtube also facilitated the spread of anime throughout the world. This was no longer a Japanese thing; anime fans were beginning to form a large international community the nineties could never have imagined.

Anime studios like Gainax would rehash their old series or make new ones. Anime creators would also show their hand in Hollywood productions, like in the Animatrix, or the sequence in Kill Bill. Genres would also shift; the harem anime of the nineties began to fade away. Ero-game adaptations would surface, as standards on late night TV began to loosen, shows would tend to show even more. Josei anime would find their niche in the noitaminA block on television.

The Shounen genre would find itself a cornerstone of the industry with the "Big Three" Shounen Anime: Bleach, Naruto and One Piece. These new shows would gain large fanbases of their own and push anime even further into the mainstream.

Aside from manga, light novels would also become a source of anime adaptation. Shows like Haruhi Suzumiya and Toradora! would find their beginnings as light novels, then become adapted as highly popular anime. Still, anime creators would find time to make original productions of their own, making some of the best creative works of the decade.

And so, without further ado, my favorite anime of the past ten (+1) years:

Paranoia Agent - one of the most unique anime series to come out of Japan, and one of the late Satoshi Kon's masterpieces. As with most of his works, the series tackles the issues of dreams, perceptions and reality and brings them to life in a way only an animated film can.

Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann - it has to be said that this anime epitomizes the meaning of "epic." Virtually a distillation of every hot-blooded mecha anime series into its purest, most pristine form. As it outdoes itself in over the top shenanigans with every episode, it never fails to deliver. Except probably for Garlock, although the movies correct this a bit.

Death Note - Although fans are divided over the second, lesser half of the series, the first half of Death Note is nothing short of awesome: a pure battle of wits between two supremely clever individuals. It really isn't about the notebook anymore; it's about the rivalry between these two men over their difference in ideology.

Honey and Clover - this series perfectly captured college life for me: the friends, the transcience, the pain, the happiness, the memories. You may notice the rest of the series in this list are either shounen or seinen series. This is the only title that even comes close to being shoujo (it's actually a Josei title) and there's a pretty fucking good reason why: because it kicks ass. Honey and Clover Sandwhiches, that's all I'm going to say about that.

Samurai Champloo - I would include Cowboy Bebop, but that was in 1998 so I can't lol. But this series, a fusion of hip-hop and jidaigeki/chambara culture, creates a great mishmash of both. References to samurai films of old and pop culture in general abound, but one could say the interactions between the three main characters between themselves and with others solidify what is a great series.

Akagi/Kaiji - I'd like to lump these two series by Nobuyuki Fukumoto together. Although not brimming with explosions or over the top mecha battles, these two series erupt with sheer manliness from start to finish. While Kaiji is the kind of poor bastard you'd want to buy a drink, Akagi is the kind of person that you'd cheer on for the sheer reason that the man is freaking insane. For some reason, these two gambling series have a strong (implied?) anti-gambling message. Or maybe it's just me.

Mushishi - Bar none the best anime series of the decade for me. Each tale tells of the human condition through strange creatures neither animal nor human. The show itself feels like some vibrant, quiet organism, thrumming with life. A show that deserved as many seasons that it could get, but settled for 26 amazing episodes.

Genshiken - an anime about anime (and a manga about manga... and I guess about anime too.) Like its spiritual predecessor Otaku no Video, Genshiken is an anime about anime and manga fans. Like me! (and probably you?) But take away the anime and manga, and this show is about a group of people engaging in a hobby that they love, a hobby that is a fundamental part of their lives.

Monster - What does it mean to be human? What does it mean to be a good person? What does it mean to be evil? Naoki Urasawa delivers with a rich and complex tale layered with interesting characters and questions that burn through to your moral center. THe awesome thing is, minor characters or not, each one has a story behind them, influencing their actions. Would you agree with Dr. Tenma's actions? Would you agree with Johan's?

Code Geass - Despite the second season, which most deemed a flaming trainwreck, this anime, a sort of bildungsroman of one's ascent from obscurity to total world domination, is pretty engrossing from start to over-the-top finish. One might think of the ascent of emperors or great conquerors while viewing the entirety of the show. Oh, and it has robots on roller skates. ROLLER SKATES.

Special Mention: Rebuild of Evangelion - The original series made such a huge impact on my teenage life that I still consider it a major influence in my tastes and likes today. The revamp of the series, helmed by a more mature (and slightly less depressed) Hideaki Anno, reflects on how I have changed from an angsty teen into a slightly less angsty young adult. lol

Honorable mentions: Eureka 7, Eden of the East

Next: Hollywood!

A Presently Confusing Decade: Rest of Asia

The rest of Asia headed into the new decade quite unsure of itself. Reeling from the Asian financial crisis of the late nineties, the movie industry was not exactly in tip top shape. While the movie industries of South Korea flourished, old established titans of the Asian movie scene were beginning to crumble. The unfortunate casualty of the decade of the new milennium was Hong Kong. A steady decline in production from the mid nineties, combined with overproduction of films, piracy and the threat of Hollywood dealt a blow that sent the industry reeling. By 2003, the Hong Kong movie industry was on life support.

Directors then went to mainland China where they found a new home in the burgeoning economy, although strict government censorship would hinder their expression. In China, directors from there would make large scale epics of their own, but most indie directors would turn to small productions. Documentary films would find a trend among filmmakers in this decade.

Thai Cinema would also experience a kind of resurgence during this decade. The Pang Brothers made a couple of great films in the country, including The Eye and Bangkok Dangerous. (They would continue making films in the country as brothers or as solo directors.) Thailand also rode the Asian Horror wave with films like Bangkok Haunted or Shutter. Tony Jaa introduced a kinetic style of film with Ong Bak, starting a string of films showcasing Muay Thai and the skills and bravery of Thai Stuntmen.

Aside from mainstream fare, Thai New Wave directors gained acclaim in the international film circuit. Rataranuang's Invisible Waves and Last Life in the Universe were astounding films, as well as Weerasethakul's Syndromes and a Century and Uncle Boomee, the latter of which won big at Cannes.

The Philippines continued to languish a bit into the 2000s; but the rise of digital film made it possible for independent directors to gain a voice. While the Metro Manila Film Festival remained the sole hallmark of the commercial side of the film industry, independent filmmakers founded the Cinemalaya Film Festival as a showcase of their own creative work.

Malaysia would find talented directors and interesting films like Sepet, Indonesia would continue on its own, from horror fare to superhero films to sex comedies with sex symbols like Maria Ozawa. India would continue chugging along its huge movie industry; slick production values (and better choreography?) would improve movie quality. Vietnam, while mostly in the shadows, would gain notice with films like Muoi, a co-production with Korea. And the list goes on.

My personal favorites from Asia in the past decade (+1) were:


Green Tea - A little-known romantic movie from mainland China. Gorgeous to look at (thanks to Christopher Doyle,) great performances from the actors. Surprisingly it's one of my all-time favorites.

In the Mood for Love - You don't see him that much these days, but Wong Kar Wai's best is arguably this film, a quiet treatise on love that expresses its intense emotions beneath a seemingly placid exterior.

Hero - another mainland Chinese film that stars Hong Kong actors (sadly after HK cinema started to decline.) It started a wave of similar big budgeted Chinese epics, directed by both Hong Kong and Chinese directors and starring both Hong Kong and mainland Chinese actors, like House of Flying Daggers, The Promise and Red Cliff.

2046 - Although a lesser film than its predecessor, this follow-up to In the Mood for Love echoes the themes and sentiments of his previous films up to that point. He would direct only one more full film, My Blueberry Nights, before taking years on his latest film, The Master, based on the life story of Ip Man.

Last Life in the Universe - Thai cinema has been experiencing something of a resurgence this past decade. Pen-ek Rataranuang's offering, Last Life in the Universe is a strange and quirky film about how two people end up completing each other in more ways than one.

Infernal Affairs (Trilogy) - In the muck that was Hong Kong Cinema in the first decade of the millennium, a few movies stood out and proved to be classics of the genre. This trilogy was definitely one of the crowning works of that time. While the first is definitely the lynchpin of the series, it is the second film that expands upon the universe established by the first and gives it a whole new level of depth.

Shaolin Soccer - Stephen Chow has always made comedy movies in his long career. It's this one, however, that placed the international eye on him. His later, successful followup, Kung Fu Hustle, was also a big hit in Asia.

Ong Bak - Yeah yeah I know, this film has an overly simplistic plot that meanders too much (at least in the original Thai release,) and nothing much going on in the acting department. But DAMN my friend, it delivers action in spades and made Tony Jaa a star. That is, until the stresses of making Ong Bak 2 and 3 pushed him into monasticism. No joke. Will he make a comeback once everything is sorted out? and will the world remember him upon his return?

Engkwentro - I've seen my share of Filipino movies over the past ten years, and with all the mainstream dreck, indie stuff and miscellaneous gunk we produce, this movie stood out in particular for me. Clever editing, and superb acting from actors and non-actors alike make this film what it is.

special mention: Sha Po Lang, Ip Man, Tribu

A Presently Confusing Decade: South Korea

South Korea had a very productive decade with its movie industry. It came off with big earners like Shiri and JSA. With rapidly improving film quality and the advent of digital video and DVD media, Korean movies had a boom in the early 2000s. Like other Asian countries, Korea also tried to ride the Asian horror bandwagon with productions of its own, such as 2002's Phone and 2003's A Tale of Two Sisters.

Korea also made waves with its Romantic Comedies. Films like My Sassy Girl, Windstruck and Sex is Zero were screened in across Asia. Some films were picked up by Hollywood for remake purposes, but were relatively unsuccessful compared to their counterparts. Along with TV series (arguably one of South Korea's largest media exports to Asia,) music and what have you, this began what constituted the Hallyu, or Korean Wave.

Korea would continue to break its own domestic box office records year after year. Nationalistic war epics like Taegukgi and Silmido, historical films like The King and the Clown, monster films like the Host, and grand spectacles like Tsunami and D-War would dominate the box office. This would continue well into 2009, but by this time, Korean cinema had its own share of troubles.

With the global recession, less people were going to cinemas. The screen quota system, having regulated the showing of non-domestic films on Korean screens, saw its power reduced to allow for more Hollywood films to be shown. Low sales of DVDs had almost killed that industry. Although there were still a lot of good films during the latter parts of the decade, the volume of productions lessened. TV dramas had more pull, and were more profitable in the long run due to its format.

Korean film gained international popularity, with major wins at major film festivals. Of note was Jeon Do-yeon's much deserved win at Cannes, as with Oldboy's win at the same film festival. Many others would win accolades in Venice and Berlin. The country's own Pusan film festival would become a major film event in the region over this decade.

The end of the decade saw a shift in Korean film production and contemporary Korean film. Although the occasional blockbuster or genre film will still be there, more and more directors are taking fresh and inventive approaches to the art, and more creative films from this powerhouse in the Asian film community are in the wings, waiting to be made.

For this decade (+1,) my favorite films are:

Oldboy - Although all great films I had to pick only one of Park Chan-wook's vengeance trilogy to leave space for the others, and I think this one is the film representative of this body of work. Oldboy is a fantastic film that punches you in the face the first time you see it.

My Sassy Girl - This film is the definitive example of a wave of Asian romantic comedies that swept through asia for much of the early decade. Director Kwak Jae-yong liked this film so much, he would spend the rest of the decade making nothing but similar films to this one, ranging from more serious fare (The Classic) to rehashes of his original story (Windstruck and Cyborg She) to adaptations of other similar works (My Girl and I.)

Failan - speaaaking of romance, how do you make a love story about two people who have never met in person, ever? The fact that people's lives are affected by others in such simple and profound ways is the point of this film, and is heartbreaking in its final result.

Il Mare - not really a standout film, but one of my favorite non-comedy romantic films from Korea of the decade. The music, the story, the chemistry between the characters, it was perfect. I guess it just came at the right time in my life. Remade in Hollywood as The Lake House.

Memories of Murder - a police procedural that takes in all of the societal issues and bureaucracies of the day. Based on a true story.

Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter... and Spring - Kim Ki-duk has made a lot of movies this decade, with almost one movie a year until tapering off around 2008. This one remains one of his simplest films, with almost no dialogue. The cyclical story that was based upon Buddhism is still universal. Life, unto death.

The Chaser - If Oldboy was like a punch to the face, this film is like a hot girl kicking you in the balls. The Chaser brings equal heaps of suspense and pathos thanks to Kim Yoon-wook, who gives the performance of his life in this film.

Welcome to Dongmakgol - numerous films have been made regrarding the tensions between North and South Korea, who are still technically at war after more than fifty years. This film, lighthearted and whimsical as it is, paints a picture of a simple, naive world full of innocence, and how war changes everything.

The Host - not your ordinary monster movie. Again Jong Boon-ho gives us a relatively entertaining mainstream story, while still addressing societal issues. The true enemy in the Host is not the monster that stalks in the shadows; we are.

Cruel Winter Blues - This is a finely acted film that like Il Mare will probably not be remembered by many, but came to me at just the right time. It's a lonely story of disconnection and the desire to reach out to someone. A real hard luck tale, but worth the watch.

Honorable mentions: A Tale of Two Sisters, 3-iron, This Charming Girl, the rest of the Vengeance Trilogy, Thirst, JSA

I Wish I Could Have Seen: Secret Sunshine, Mother (I'll get to this ASAP hehe)