Present Confusion Awards 2005

Okay. Crappy Title, I admit.

2005 was quite an interesting year for cinema. Cannes picked a couple of dudes from Belgium for their gold palm; the Star Wars franchise finally closed its movie doors; remakes and sequels were the order of the day for Hollywood; Park Chanwook finally finished his vengeance trilogy, Uwe Boll continued making mediocre garbage; and the indie cinema movement in the Philippines continued gaining attention and support.

Instead of the cursory top ten list, I’m going to present awards to movies and series that I saw this year that gained my attention. They don’t have to be made in 2005, they include movies and series that I saw this year, regardless of the production date. Regretfully, there were some films I had to exclude from the list – it doesn’t make them any less good. It’s self explanatory, so don’t worry, it’s not that complicated. So let’s begin!

Best Watched Movie of the Year: Fight Club (1999)

the first rule of fight club is...

This movie is not just a movie; it is an entire philosophy crammed into 2 or so hours of entertainment. This movie is a swirling downward spiral of violence and insanity that after the movie, I simply wanted to watch it again, read the book, everything. David Fincher, thank you for this movie.

Best B-Movie/Guiltiest Pleasure Award: Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky (1993)

Like Fight Club, I wanted to watch this movie again after seeing it once… but for totally different reasons. This movie is also a swirling spiral of violence and insanity, and, surprisingly enough, unbridled hilarity. See Cynthia Luster crossdressing! See a man strangled by his own freaking intestines! See a jail warden with mints… in his eye! What the f…?

Runner Up: Godzilla: Final Wars (2004)

Camp literally overflows in this movie, from the hammy, totally overacting villain to the Keanu lookalike to the strange bilingual communication that goes on between the characters. Ever want a movie with a first half that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever? If the guys in the rubber suits weren’t enough… It’s also absolutely fun to watch.

Classic Movie/s of the Year Award: The Godfather Parts I and II

I’ll give you an offer you can’t refuse… to watch two of the best examples of American Cinema. The first, a long, epic portrait of a gangster family, is a modern masterpiece; the second one, in many respects, a worthy successor to the original, in some cases even surpassing the grim beauty of the first.

“I Am Oozing With Style” Award: A Bittersweet Life (2005)

This movie is the perfect example of a stylish movie. Taking Noir and Action elements together, the film simply… oozes with style.

Best Romantic Film: Someone Special (2004)

We know. Relationships Suck.

Korean romantic comedies are known for their formulaic plots, their melodramatic surprises, their formulaic characters. This film takes all these conventions and mocks them openly before throwing them out of the window. It’s also funny.

Runner-up: The 40-Year Old Virgin (2005)

This film is quite unique. I don’t really have much to say about it other than the fact that it is hilarious.

Filipiniana Award: Ala Verde, Ala Pobre (2005)

I can’t remove the images of this film from my mind. It’s a bit flawed, but it showed me that Filipino Cinema still has promise in good acting, good storytelling, good everything.

Runner-ups: Masahista (2005) and Ilusyon (2005)

One, a subdued character piece. The other, a moody, surreal romance. Both extremely good and both worth watching.

Asskicker Award – Male Category: Lee Byung-hyeon (A Bittersweet Life)

Let’s face it. He was in a movie that oozed style, and his cold, professional demeanor combined with his sharp fashion sense gave him a +924052080 upgrade in pogi points. If that made any sense…

Runner-up: Don Frye (Godzilla: Final Wars)

Don Frye: All-American Hero.

The man has a freaking katana, is the captain of a kick-ass ship, and speaks English in an otherwise Japanese film. He looks like an ultra-buff version of the captain guy from Robotech or something. I have no idea why he’s the runner-up, but he kicks so much ass and exudes an aura of asskicking that it’s weird not to include him.

Asskicker Award – Female Category: Kanae Uotani (Sky High)

I just had to put a picture: Kanae Uotani

She’s hot, she also has a freaking katana, and she’s hot. Did we say she was hot? She also kicks ass. Ryuhei Kitamura has this knack of bringing out the asskicking abilities of people. Kanae Uotani, one of his staple actresses (she’s appeared in almost every film he’s made,) is the best example of this.

Oh, and did we mention she was hot?

Runner-up: Aya Ueto (Azumi 2: Death or Love)

I can’t believe you can make someone kick so much ass while being so cute at the same time. Aya Ueto manages to do this whilst being splattered with tons of blood in Azumi 2.

WTF Insanity Award: Pistol Opera (2001)

wtf?

Seijun Suzuki has been making films into his nineties, and Pistol Opera is one of them. I don’t know what kinds of insane things happen when you get old, but damn. What happens if you get an insane 1960’s film called Branded to Kill and remake it into an even more incomprehensible, insane film? You get Pistol Opera. It isn’t even funnily insane, it’s just… insane.

Arty Art film of the Year: 3-Iron (2004)

Kim Ki-duk’s works from Crocodile to Samaria finally culminate in a great treatise on love and alienation and separation and all those little things that trouble us in our sleep as we pine away on lost love. That was a long sentence, wasn’t it? Oh, and the two main characters hardly speak for the entire movie, and still there’s characterization. Actions speak louder than words.

Runner-Up: This Charming Girl (2004)

She walks in hidden beauty.

The portrait of a woman with a past. Of course, how she is portrayed may be nothing like what you think. It’s intelligent, quite and contemplative. I like it.

Anime of the Year Award (Finished): Genshiken

It was hard trying to think which Anime series I’ve finished watching is worthy to be called best of the year, since I’ve seen so many. There’s Wolf’s Rain, This fun look into the lives of otaku and the otaku lifestyle in general touched me, warmed my heart, made me sympathize. It’s only 12 episodes long, but each is worth the watch.

Runner-up: Samurai Champloo

Another excellent anime series that is truly a mishmash of concepts and a homage to the samurai/jidaigeki genre in general.

Anime of the Year Award (Unfinished): Naruto

It’s slow as hell and packed with filler, but this series made me feel like a young boy again. Great series.

Runner-up: Azumanga Daioh

Uniquely funny, the series seemingly has no plot and direction but it has. It also has a cast of the most endearing characters in an anime.