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Saturday, January 28, 2017

Late January Reviews: Foolish Love, Across the Crescent Moon

After watching Foolish Love, I asked myself, "what the hell did I just watch?" To this day, I'm not sure. In fact, I'm not sure I watched anything at all.

The main story is about Virginia, a young woman who decides to search for a childhood love named Rey Dela Cruz. As the name is ridiculously common, this is an understandably difficult task... until a mysterious man claiming to be Rey suddenly comes to her doorstep.

Foolish Love's main "story" is about how tremendously important it is to have a boyfriend. This is not a new concept, but the film's major shortcoming is that it doesn't really do anything with the concept. There isn't really much to endear us to either character or to build up their relationship. The film is quite content to meander around aimlessly, quoting poetry and languishing in its own self satisfaction until things get serious.

When things DO get serious, it gets inexplicably weird, especially in the third act. Imagine if Citizen Kane suddenly became a kaiju movie during its last third. We're supposed to care about the protagonist's plight during this final act, but we just stare at the screen, baffled - and then the film is over.

I didn't feel like I watched a film. There was no impetus, no compelling characters, nothing to get my interest. I would have spent my time just as well had I just stared blankly into space for two hours. Foolish Love ignores everything that makes a movie work - making the whole effort, well, foolish.

As a postscript to this entry, I was with a large number of senior citizens when I watched this film (I'd dare say 90% of the 30 or so people in the theater were above 50 years of age.) The seniors enjoyed the film and laughed at the jokes. So is Joel Lamangan and company targeting a different demographic here in a weird way? Don't ask me.

I'm trying to be a positive person here, so lets say something positive for a moment.

I enjoyed Across the Crescent Moon.

Across the Crescent Moon inspires me to become a filmmaker.

Is Across the Crescent Moon a good movie? No, not really. In fact, it's a hilariously bad, absolute failure of a movie in almost all of its aspects. This is yet another movie rejected from 2016's MMFF, and I have to say the selection committee made the right choice. (This makes them 5/5 so far.)

I also baited you, and I apologize for that.

Across the Crescent Moon is about human trafficking, which apparently involves 1 out of 4 Filipinos. Filipinos also make up 25% of all people trafficked, which means exactly the same thing as the last sentence. This movie, however, doesn't seem to know that and declares these two sentences in the same way I just did. Why the movie would make it a point to say this makes me wonder if the filmmakers don't know basic math.

While the A plot concerns human trafficking, the dramatic side of things is about an interfaith marriage between Abbas (Matteo Guidicelli) and Emma (Alex Godinez.) We are treated to a number of arguments regarding Muslims, which tries to explain that Muslims aren't bad people after all. As a Muslim myself (and ironically, as a product of a marriage much like Abbas' and Emma's), I found it half pandering, half amusing - but I do appreciate (what I assume are) the good intentions behind it.

The movie's faults really shine with a braindead script that reads like it was written by a group of monkeys on typewriters. Nothing in the film makes logical sense. The drama feels contrived, and certain characters sound like idiots. Cops berate drugged kidnap survivors for not remembering the details of a island stronghold because they were too drugged to remember. Parents of kidnapped children give police glamour shots of their kids. For, you know, identification. Parents of kidnapped children waltz inside a crime scene willy nilly, breaking proper protocol for forensic investigation, for the sake of plot development. Long lost brothers appear out of nowhere with no real buildup or backstory. The self worth of a Muslim man hinges on how many human trafficking rings he's brought down (and for that, I apologize to my parents and future in-laws for having brought down zero human trafficking rings to date.)

The rest of the movie's aspects don't help, either. The acting is terrible on almost all fronts. The villains ham it up to ridiculous degrees. Guidicelli is okay, but is awkward at parts. Gabby Concepcion is halfway decent, the script makes Dina Bonnevie sound like a moron, and let's not talk about Alex Godinez. The editing is choppy, lacks consistency (reverse shots don't even match!), and it breaks up what is already middling action choreography, making it less enjoyable overall.

If you really want to watch a good Filipino film about human trafficking in Mindanao, try Sheron Dayoc's Halaw (2010) instead and avoid this.

I enjoyed Across the Crescent Moon, but only to laugh at it. Ironically it's a pretty funny movie to watch with your friends, preferably while drunk. If you don't drink, just drink Sprite or something. I was laughing my ass off in the cinema. But don't pay full price for it. Maybe watch it on Youtube next year or something.

Across the Crescent Moon inspires me to become a filmmaker. Because if 'industry professionals' are capable of making this garbage, then holy hell my shit's going to be a masterpiece.

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