Monday, May 29, 2006

Hardcore!

Just some random stuff I noticed while watching Sentai shows…

There was an episode of Shaider that was focused on Annie (no, she didn’t star in porn, as far as I know. She did, however, continue acting in Sentai well into the 90’s.) There was a part where she fought these evil minions and she was dressed up in Geisha attire and had Geisha makeup. To her credit, she looked like the real deal. This was in itself normal, despite the fact that millions of Filipino kids probably wouldn’t be able to get the cultural connection.

However, in the second half of the show she goes into this weird routine where she changes costumes every 15 seconds. She doesn’t fight per se; the routine seemed only to confuse the hell out of everyone there. It was pointless and utterly weird, and made me wonder what the hell the director was smoking. Did the Japanese kids who saw this in the early 80’s laugh at this? (they probably did.) Would the scene be appreciated by the generations of Filipino kids who watched this?

The episode dealt with kids getting evil by means of evil clothes. EVIL CLOTHES, ZOMG. No wonder that face thingy with the weird song and dance number lost. Why not make evil business suits for world leaders or something? That way he can rule the world. BUT NO. Instead, he makes these little detours and give the suits to freaking little kids, so that they may beat up the friendly veterinarian down the street. I’m surprised Shaider hasn’t kicked this guy’s ass already. Wait, he doesn’t have an ass. Scratch that.

In fairness to the episode, this was one of the few episodes where Babylos turns into a robot instead of a wimpy stupid gun. I hated that freaking gun thing. So that’s 130750 plus points for me.

Oh, and I guess the guy who played Shaider really did die. To all those people I told that Shaider may still be alive, he isn’t. Sorry.

Power Rangers is the subject of the next topic. I don’t know how many incarnations there are right now of the franchise. Sooner or later they’re going do silly ideas and make them Pirates and put them on a giant space ship that looks like a 16th century galleon. Heck, they made them ninjas in one show, why the hell not. The rest of what I’m going to tell you is true. No lie. Well, maybe a little.

Anyway, there was this one show with one of the Power Rangers, still in civilian attire, escapes from this generic building. So all is fine and good when this Tyrannosaurus Rex comes in. Well it’s a carnivorous two-legged dinosaur anyway, if it isn’t a T-Rex. So naturally what would one do? We all watched Jurassic Park, right? Wouldn’t the first reaction be to either a) stare in silence and fear as the giant m*********** bites your torso off, or b) run like hell until the said dinosaur bites your torso off? Either way, torsos are going to fly.

BUT NO. Instead, the Power Ranger, without even transforming, ROUNDHOUSE KICKS THE DINOSAUR IN THE FACE.

HOLY SHIT.

The dinosaur flinches and the Power Ranger makes a getaway. But you don’t care about the rest of the show, you’re still stymied that some Joe had the balls to ROUNDHOUSE KICK AN FUCKING DINOSAUR IN THE FUCKING FACE. That’s just genius. Chuck Norris would be proud. Well, in fact, Chuck Norris once went back in time and roundhouse kicked a dinosaur so hard it reached escape velocity and fell into the sun. Along the way, the space borne dinosaur collided with an asteroid and changed its course so that it would strike the earth, killing all the other dinosaurs. That’s right; Chuck Norris caused the extinction of the dinosaurs.

…Hardcore.